a woman of a certain age

I am an idiot.

I'm more than willing to own up to that description. Yes I probably judge myself too harshly but then I usually do.. and that's a post for another time. I'm an idiot because I feel like a woman of a certain age.

You know the kind, the ones that get lamented about by men of a certain age. We're baby mad, eager for marriage, just want to settle down and have the urge to nest.

And I even caught myself wanting to not get any older the other day because you know, wanting something apparently stops time.

I know what's brought in on - me turning 31 in three months and therefore being undeniably in my thirties (before then I was 30, not in my thirties and all the bullshit about what I think that means), falling in and out of love with The Boy, dealing with the incessant whining and demands of The Cop (so a story for another time. Yes, there is more to it than The December Debacle), having everyone shack up around me and having babies (including the on/off boyfriend who failed to mention the whole married thing when we were last "on" - what the).

The tick-tock of the biological clock is really starting to shit me though. The slight feeling of panic that occurs when the biological clock chimes the hour even more so.

The biggest terror of all is that I may eventually meet someone that I want to see longer than for thirty seconds and freak them out so much by sticking to them closer than a second skin. That's if eau de desperation doesn't scare them away in the first place.

I think this calls for martinis, a beach resort and inappropriately aged relationships.


I Wanna Have Your Babies - Natasha Bedingfield